The Friend Zone

Hate it or Love it?

Totally depends on which side your on right?

For those who may be a bit unclear...the friend zone is somewhat complicated. On the positive side of the spectrum, you put someone in the friend zone who you really enjoy as just a friend, but then you find out they want more than that. In order to preserve the friendship you explain to them that you'd like to remain friends. They have just entered into the friend zone. This may be a tad awkward though, depending on how strong the friend bond is compared to how strong the other person's desire to demolish the friend zone is. If there is a true friendship, then the person may not like being in the friend zone, but they'll tolerate it because they enjoy your company, and if you tell them about your other relationships, they'll probably be hurt, but will ultimately want to see you happy. Ultimately they hope that one day you will realize the folly of your ways, and take them out of the friend zone. That may very well only be wishful thinking...

Now the negative end of the friend zone spectrum is being placed in the friend zone. Anyone who's ever experienced it knows that, for lack of a better phrase, it sucks. Its like having something you want dangling in front of your face, and being snatched away as soon as you grab for it. Crucial because you refuse to warm up the slot machine, then walk away and let someone else win your jackpot, and pitiful because who wants to wait around for happiness to possibly knock on the door? And its especially terrible when you wait and wait for the opportune time to tell them, and your hoping more than anything that they feel the same way. Only to be rejected by the friend card. Its like standing in line at the club for hours and just as you get close to the door the party is shut down. How is one to move past the friend zone without being too pushy? How is one to stay in the friend zone and stay sane?

When the friend zone goes wrong...

You say "I really only see you as a friend..."

They say "just friends?"

And the awkwardness begins. The friendship soon will fizzle out, and what you thought was a true friendship was in fact nothing of the sort. This alternative is a lose-lose situation for both parties, and I feel for all involved. No fun.

Now...final strand of the friend zone. I'll call it illegal use of the friend zone. Now I won't say I'm not guilty of it, I think a lot of us are. When you use the friend zone as an excuse to stop unwanted advances, knowing full well you and the person weren't friends before and probably will never be friends. This is just misuse of the entire concept. The friend zone is not to be taken lightly. People can get hurt.